I may be a card carrying member of the VRWC (vast right wing conspiracy) but I really do hate deployments. Oh its not that I don’t find what he’s doing over there important because I know it is. I know how important this particular front is on the war against islamofascist asshats. I am very proud that he is willing and able to make sure I or my future hypothetical daughter never have to wear a burqa or risk getting stoned for fighting off an attacker. I’m proud he is willing to fight for his ideals and to fight for other people who can’t fight for their freedom. I just miss him. I’m not useless without him and I have no problems taking care of myself but I miss my best friend. I miss playing video games with him, I miss those 20 minutes before we fall asleep when we get assaulted with love from enki. I even miss getting irritated that it takes him so long to put down the crack video games and come to dinner. Usually I handle the whole thing rather well. He’s even coming home sooner rather than later but for some reason that makes me miss him even more. Sometimes he accuses me of being a peacenik because I *wish* the world were a place that deployments and wars weren’t necessary, wanting that doesn’t make me a peacenik. What separates me from a peacenik (aside from the loaded shotgun by the bed) is the fact that I recognize wishing doesn’t make it so, that there are times when it is necessary to fight. I know that sticking my head in the sand isn’t going to make the asshats hate the great satan any less. Sometimes I compare Justin to other men I dated and I very much have a type so the differences are in some ways subtle. I like geeks. I like high I Q’s. I like gamers. I like men who read. I like men who wear all black. The fundamental difference between those that lost out on the joy of being with me and my husband is he has an ethical/moral center and they didn’t. Oh sure there are other differences but that’s the one thing I found so striking about him. It didn’t hurt that he’s quite smart and total eyecandy either. I love watching how his mind works. Back in the day there used to be a mailing list he was on and they would get into all these arguments/discussions over current events or history or whatever. No one could ever out argue him. I find that so incredibly attractive. One thing I’ve noticed about my fellow wives is we often talk about the deployments in a tone of ‘well of course it sucks but we knew it would’ and we rarely talk about the fear. Oh we might say sort of casually that we had a bit of a cry over something but its never anything that is mentioned beyond that. It does lessen a bit but there is still this sort of stomach drop whenever its late and you see a car drive slowly like it could be looking for your house to give you bad news. But yeah deployments suck.
Have I mentioned I how I loathe deployments?
Posted by – March 10, 2006
