I’ve been blogging much more over on the house site simply because it is all consuming. I have also been reading a whole lot. Not much on the fiber hobbies lately. I sit down to knit and then quickly think of something I MUST LOOK UP RIGHT THEN.  Having the reader is certainly making me read more. I thought I’d use it alot but I wasn’t aware of just how much it would change my reading habits. I’ve always been a reader, but that gadget just makes it so easy to read whenever I have a few minutes. It also means I can keep my knitting patterns with me at all times. The only thing I would love would be a pen to take notes but I couldn’t justify the Iliad. Still it’s a freaking amazing device.  So just for the sake of having a picture…

I’m not sure why I quit posting I just know that I did. Part of it was habit I suppose, part of it was lack of stuff to say in public. However I am trying to get back into the habit of writing every day since it’s a good one to have when you have an unfinished novel laying around. Maybe I should start off small with shorter works? At any rate between this and my knitting, cooking (not started), and house blogs I think I should have a wealth of material to write about. As far as I know the only one that ever gets read is the knit blog. I can’t wait to move. Mentally I think I already have moved. Only about 2.5 months left here. Anyway the new house is going to be awesome and there is so much more space. Thank god. I didn’t think we’d last another three years in this house. It’s double the size and it has a big garage. Hopefully we’ll get to stay in it long enough to make some money and enjoy it. I also have a new story idea brewing but I dunno the other one I have been working on would be an easier sale. So I think I’ll hold off and wait. Anyway yesterday was fairly productive but today needs to blow it out of the water so I can get things moving. However I will leave you with the latest editions to my farm…

Oh yes I am a more than craptastic blogger. However I plead the whole we were trying to buy a house excuse yet again.  I was driving myself crazy trying to make it somehow all work before Justin left for JRTC. We even got far enough to ALMOST make an offer on one. Then it turned out that there was a discrepancy between the MLS listing and the tax info making it a much worse deal. Also the house in my estimate needed some work so… I don’t know if we’ll be revisiting the issue or not. Moving on…So Justin left for JRTC and it sucks. I always forget how much it sucks but it sucks. The only benefit is that I finally got my chair. I was going to buy this used craigslist chair but the day I was supposed to go look at it I saw a sale sign at this furniture store so I went to see what they had and found a great chair on sale like over 450 dollars on sale. It had the worlds ugliest fabric though but I have my slip cover I accidentally got on fleabay and while at first I didn’t think it would work at all with the help of some weird thumbtack like things I managed to make it fit. I think it looks pretty good.

Now I just need some tables and a new couch and a new tv stand and art. I really really need art in this house.  However all in good time. Anyway that say day I made another attempt at the dog thing.  So I adopted Darcy. He is super sweet and yet we’re having major major problems with the cats. In fact I just broke up what was a three way fight not 20 minutes ago. So umm yeah sadly I’ll be finding him a new home. I feel like crap about it cause I really like him and he is well behaved but the tension between them is horrible. Also he finds the cats too interesting and when they react badly to his desire to play with them well he gets rather annoyed as well. He deserves better and I certainly am not going to risk a huge vet bill or the death of one of the furden in the hopes they will adjust. After this morning I’m too scared to. However he is really pretty and sweet. I think what I have learned is that while I love dog, I need to visit them rather than attempt to have one. At least while we have Enki.

So I woke up Sunday and had some Sheena Easton song stuck in my head. This has propelled me head long in youtube nostalgia. I think I’m just avoiding my life now which at the moment is filled with math and finance over the new house. Or possible new house. I know we *can* buy a house the point is should we. Justin’s dad helpfully provided some math for me to start since my in laws are by far the best/most experienced people I have to ask about this stuff. My mom has bought two houses in her life and kept one for over twenty years. Buying for the long term is so different, then its all about what do I like and what do I need from a home. Buying for the short term that stuff still matters but it’s also like “what will sell” and “will we break even” or even better “will we make any money”. So that’s what I’ve been doing…last week I saw a bunch of homes with my mom when she came to visit and this coming weekend I take Justin to see the five I’ve narrowed it down to. I was all hot to do this until Justin’s dad provided a much needed reality check. Now I’m not so sure. I want the new house, I want the garden tub and an actual guest room and a garage but we’re only going to be here for 26 months more. If we could get a house for the same we pay in rent it might be simpler but the payment will go up about 2-300 a month. Well depending on the house we buy but oddly the profit for the lower priced house (same model we rent) is much lower than the houses I almost like. It’s pretty impossible for me to like low end new construction. Anyway this is the fantasticlyfugly cabinets they put in MANY of the newer homes. Actually these are pretty decent for their type…there are far far far worse.

and this is much more of what I want…

So another day of number crunching commences. I just think it’s funny that two former slackers like Justin and myself are even thinking of buying a house. It’s so weird…part of me still feels like I should be out all night drinking coffee.

So things are still unsettled, however the good news is he might get an instructor position and thus not have to deploy so we’re cautiously hopeful. Things on the house front are proceeding even though we’ve not a clue if we’re going to actually do it. I am totally mixed up about it. If we do it its a good thing but our cost of living goes drastically up. Also totally depends on how long we’re going to be here. But in better news I’ve been working on this online photography course and I’m improving. I’m oh so glad I bought a camera with a lot of manual settings so I can at least attempt to get the oh so sexy blur of shallow depth of field. I think it’s ridiculous that I desire a dslr strictly so I can take yarn pron shots but eh…everyone needs a hobby.

Supposedly these are the ones with shallow depth of field. I’m waiting to hear back what settings to change…

Deep:

Well on Monday we discovered the two most dreaded words in the army did apply to us. So it appears we’re going to be here for another two years.  I apparently turned dead white in shock.  The best part of the whole situation was that Justin wasn’t with me at the meeting so I had the dubious pleasure of being known forever more as “my wife: killer of hope” (my words not his)  He was rather upset but we both adjusted to the idea. So now we’re making plans for another 2 years here. We’re going to buy a house which I’m rather nervous about because of the housing stuff going on. However it is a good idea. I’ve narrowed it down to 4. Justin is rather picky about his commute so that made it easy to pick a subdivision.  So we’ll see how it goes. He won’t be leaving till the new year at least. However he will be gone almost six weeks out of the next eight. I’m not terribly thrilled by this prospect but at least my mom is coming to visit this month and she can go look at the houses with me. I’m trying to see the bright side of this. I need to be ok with it cause the last thing he needs to deal with is grief from me over something totally beyond his control.

J is away at school, which has been unfun. I’ve been consoling myself by reading a lot. We’re in the middle of a horrible heat wave so the idea of going out during the day makes me just go euuuwww. So reading and knitting it is, not that that is such a hardship of course.  The lawn is dead more or less but I do need a weedwacker to get those level with the yard so my big task is to go pick one up today. Then tomorrow I can trim everything down and make it look nice.  There really isn’t any other news other than my continuing glee that housing prices are continuing to fall. Bad news for my mom, most excellent news for me. Of course should the dreaded words occur…well I picked out a house down the road. It’s chief virtue is that it doesn’t make me want to puke. Considering my almost universal reaction to new construction is that I loathe it, that’s saying something.  One thing that I find oh so perpetually loathsome is how some members of my family feel the need to continue to ask how I spend my days. Then they find it incredible that I actually find it enjoyable to be a housewife. I realize I’ll be going back to work when we move and I’m ok with that but I have loved being home. I love having the time and the energy to take care of my home. I love being able to spend time with my husband that does not involve running errands or cleaning or whatever. We’ve been very happy this way. Considering the individual who said these things though…perhaps she would find being home less boring if she had a hobby or picked up a book. I don’t understand why so many people seem to think I sit around and eat bon bons all the time cause I don’t. I get up and make breakfast and then I clean up the house and I do the yard crap and I make him lunch five days a week. I also make dinner, I do pretty much everything. If we don’t have a problem with it I don’t see how it’s anyone else’s concern. Up until recently I also did a ton of volunteer work. Usually I chalk up the comments to envy but since she’s retired it can’t be that. I think sometimes it’s because they can’t find ways of entertaining themselves. The downside is that we have only the one car and that there is a little less money. However… by the time I paid the cost of going to work and all the take out we’d probably end up eating I’m not sure I’d really gain much by working. At least not here.  Really what it comes down to is this is how I have been the happiest.

So what has become the usual stress still applies. However it is looking more hopeful, which means of course I need to return to house hunting in stl. I have found the perfect house, however it is in eureka which is a bit far west and its a bit out of our price range. However it is almost perfect. It’s a craftsman that sadly has been sort of updated out of its charm but its big and has a lot to recommend it so I did what any normal person would do. I sold my mom on the idea of buying it since she’s looking to buy a new place. This way if she gets it eventually it will be mine and I can sort of guide her into doing what I want with it. This has led to me to seriously rethink what I want/need in a home. First and foremost I want a craftsman home of some shape or variety. The gingerbread homes of south city are more than fine and even a faux tudor is acceptable since husgamer likes them so much. Secondly I want updated systems. I care more about that than I do cosmetics. Though not having to refinish the floors would be a benefit. I also unless the place is perfect in all other ways want the original Stained not painted wood work. Since removing paint is a pain in the ass and I would rather not spend all my weekends heat gun in hand for the next decade. I also want an adequate kitchen. My kitchen here is ok, not great but ok. It would however be nice to not have to have the shelving units full of junk. I also want a tub I can enjoy. It doesn’t have to be anything other than deep enough for a good soak. The tub here sucketh muchly. Size wise uhhh bigger is better. However if the basement is finished and dry we can be flexible about size.  Since these homes have external garages that won’t be as useful for storage. I know the house we want exists I’ve seen many of them the question becomes finding it in a not too sketchy neighborhood and at a price that won’t leave me gasping.

The army is trying to drive me mad I swear. The rumors of the day. Argh…I can’t even express how the stress is getting to me. So I was supposed to go to my cousins wedding next week and I have to go but I was also going to spend time with my mom since she needs a break and now of course Justin might have to go out to the field. Can’t leave the cats that long. Well I could but my house would stink to high heaven of cat forever since a certain someone is picky. So I woke up to guilt trip deluxe, heck I was stressed about it I had a hard time sleeping. So I’ve been reading because reading is better than knitting for relaxing me. I finally reached book 50! only 60 more to go. Well depends on if I count the audio books…if I count those I’m at book almost 70. Anyway I have a knitting post to do…

The whole wth is going to happen and what are we going to do is driving me mad. I can’t stand not having a plan. My dad will probably bust out laughing if he reads that one but its true. So its long been a crap shoot on will the two most dreaded words in the military happen to Justin. We *still* don’t know. This makes planning out the future rather difficult. It’s getting close to that time when we need to start looking for houses and jobs and such. Anyway, although we had investigated the school drop option before it didn’t seem to apply to him but he seems to think he can get one. This would at least give us an indication of things to come since if he doesn’t get the school drop it would be reasonably certain that he will have to go to the ’stan. At least that is my thinking. But its all a case of who knows. Meanwhile, I was investigating residency issues for the stl option Since it wouldn’t be a case of being able to wait to est. residency with school drop. And the price difference per semester was like 6k. So I got all freaked out. Since it would mean either staying here or moving to NM. You know its not that I don’t like NM cause I do. I just don’t think I could spend the rest of my life there. Also our last move was such a disaster in so many ways it freaks me out to tempt the gods like that again. So I started researching option 3 which is to stay here. It has the cheapest cost of living of any of the three. Hell what we can get for like HALF of anywhere else in housing is impressive. I found two I fell absolutely in love with downtown. In the midst of my wild hunt for *stuff* I spoke to the director at UMSL about residency and he seemed to think there wouldn’t be a problem since I had maintained my MO residency and we were military etc. So it sounds like that could work out. However we will have to make sure of that before putting in the packet since 6k is nothing to sneeze at. Also the downside of the school drop is that we lose his terminal leave. I just hate all this uncertainty so much. It’s making me depressed which is not good since I need to be strong and productive and active in our quest to find the next stage of our lives. Also I’m discovering that the thought of leaving my home is upsetting me. I know its a rental. I know there are things I would change. I know that I would never buy this house and yet it is my home. I love this house. I love my life as it is. I mean of course I hate the fact that Justin is miserable and govt property. I hate the looming threat of deployment. I just really have enjoyed my time of hausfrauerie. I’m being a selfish baby twit is what is going on. I’ll get over it and learn to see our new life with hope but right now its very difficult to see that.